Sunday, April 17, 2011

Home

This past week has been full of all kinds of things: high school plays (Fiddler on the Roof and Peter Pan), time at the beach with friends, time on the Frisbee field with friends, hugs and deep conversations with people that I have not seen in a long time, silly movie nights and learning funny dance moves, and lots and lots of driving.

My spring break travels from school took me all around the south east – and specifically to my old haunts in Florida. As much as I love where I live now in North Carolina, I found myself quite excited to see the place I had lived the previous two years. A year ago, before I was about to move, if you had asked me if I would want to go back, I honestly don’t know what my answer would have been. I love the people there, but the place was not my favorite. And yet….as I drove around and saw the beaches and the familiar stores and houses…there was a stirring in me.

And I realized…I love the familiar.

I love the knowing.

Knowing where this street will end…what is around the corner over there…where my friend lives down that street…what time church starts on Sunday…

Knowing gives you a sense of belonging.

I realized that such a feeling is true of all of my “homes”.

I have the strongest feeling of coming home when I go to the house I grew up in Pennsylvania. A friend once told me that my face lights up when I get closer to it. I love it – the house itself, the yard, the garden, the memories…and especially the ones waiting for me once I get in the doors.

I feel like I’m coming home when I visit Grove City College – a wonderful place where I spent four years of my life getting my college degree. I met some of my best friends there, and was deeply challenged to grow in so many ways…spiritually, socially, academically, etc. And although most of the people I know from GCC no longer go/work there, I still love to visit. I love to sit in the chapel and…remember.

I have yet to visit Germany again, but I have no doubt that it would feel like a homecoming of sorts…to yet again drive up that steep, winding hill to Marzell and the wonderful Blauen dorm, in which there are so many good memories. To drive down the streets of Kandern and…remember.

It’s familiar.
And because of the time I’ve spent there and the memories I’ve made, it’s a home.

So, even in Florida – with its rather hot climate and slightly rude inhabitants (not all, mind you) – I felt like I was coming home. I was coming to the familiar.

It made me think. What is my true home? And what will I feel when I get there?

If the feeling of joy in coming back depends upon the time spent in a place…well, then… how much better will heaven be if I spend more time with Jesus here?
If the feeling of joy in coming back depends upon good memories, not bad…well, then… how much better will heaven be if I seek to do Jesus’ will and please Him here?

It will truly be more like coming HOME than anywhere else.

Heaven is not going to be about the streets of gold or the crowns we will receive. We’ll be tossing those back at Jesus’ feet as our gift to Him, anyway. Heaven’s joy will be found in seeing Jesus! And the more I memorize Him – His characteristics, His desires, what brings Him joy and grief – the more I spend time with Him and look in His face…..the more I will feel like I’m home when I finally get to see Him.

C.S. Lewis says, “Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.”

How I have loved the “homes” the Lord has given me here thus far. (And not always in the moment…sometimes more afterwards…) Yet – may I never mistake them for my true home.

Last Friday during Fiddler on the Roof, I found myself crying when a student sang “Far from the Home I Love”. The words of that song are sad…a girl leaving her family…leaving everything she knew…to be with the man she loves.

“Oh what a melancholy choice this is,
Wanting home, wanting him,
Closing my heart to every hope but his,
Leaving the home I love.

There where my heart has settled long ago,
I must go, I must go,
Who could imagine I’d be wandering so
Far from the home I love…”

Seems sad, eh? To leave home…to leave the things she remembered…the people she loves. Yet the last line of that song is so beautiful.

“Yet, there with my love, I’m home.”

I couldn’t help but think – no matter where I go here on earth – when I’m with my Love (Jesus) and following His leading, I am in a home of sorts. Yet someday – when I get to heaven – away from the distractions of this world and the confusion of what’s important – I will get to forever gaze on His face – and forever be with Him.

It's truly where I belong.

Finally, Home.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Savoring Time (One Thousand Gifts)

I’ve been reading a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Quite good, actually! It’s really been making me think, because the whole premise of her book is figuring out how to live the full life. What makes it full?
As the busy-ness of school sets in and quarters are ending, it’s hard to not feel rushed and just waiting for that spring break to get here. But as I prepared for the faculty devotions that I gave this morning, some things I read in this book came back to me.

“When one is thirsty one quenches one’s thirst by drinking, not by reading books which treat of this condition.” (quoted from her, but originally attributed to Jean Pierre de Cussade…)

Oh, how often I look for rest in places other than the true fountain of rest: the Lord Himself.

(And especially spending time in His Word, not reading other books about the Bible.)
So, that’s point #1. Get in the Word.
Moving on to point #2:

“’Pork chops, potatoes, peas, it was all just food to me.’ I hand down the plate with extras for the boys looking eager. They kneel up on chairs to eye out that one square that’s just a smidge bigger. ‘But Grandma’s apple pie? Her butterscotch squares? She didn’t have to tell me to slow down then!’ A boy takes a big bite, too big, smiles knowingly. I look around at their faces, their taste buds all alive, eyes shining delight in the sweet.

When did I stop thinking life was dessert?

I push back from the table. Push away from regrets. They need something to drink. I clatter out the stainless steel glasses. Pour out the cold milk and think of the strangers walking briskly, blithely along to Emmaus, oblivious to the God-skin before their eyes. Only in the slowing, the sitting down at the table, when His hands held the bread and the thanks fell from His tongue, do the open-eyed, the wide-eyed, see the Face they face (Luke 24:13-35). The fast have spiritually slow hearts.

I carry the cups back to the table.

My drained empty body has stopped and my soul has caught up and if I give thanks here, Whom might I recognize? I pass two cups down to the end of the table. It takes a full 20 minutes after your stomach is full for your brain to register satiation. How long does it take for your soul to realize that your life is full? The slower the living, the greater the sense of fullness and satisfaction….

…This day is not a sieve, losing time….I am filling, gaining time…

…I want to savor long whatever time holds.”
~Ann Voskamp

That’s a smattering from chapter 4. Oh. How I want to live like that – enjoying, even savoring the moments God gives me – because they are purposeful and full of blessings.

Reiterating point #2: Savor Time.

Which leads nicely into point #3: Be thankful.

Ann Voskamp has started to write out one thousand things that she is thankful for, hence the title of her book One Thousand Gifts. And oh, how much more joy I can see when I train my eyes to look for blessings. Even the very little things….because, let’s face it – that’s the stuff life is made of!

And so, pulling together the three points:
1. Be in the Word.
2. Savor Time.
3. Be Thankful.

This leads me to the ending of my prepared faculty devotions for this morning. It’s something that stuck out to me as I was taking time in the Word yesterday, trying to savor it and look for the blessings. And this is the thing I am most thankful for today (and truly, should be every day…).

Lamentations 2:13-14 “What can I say to you, to what compare you, O daughter of Jerusalem? What can I liken to you, that I may comfort you, O virgin daughter of Zion? For your ruin is as vast as the sea; who can heal you? Your prophets have seen for you false and deceptive visions; they have not exposed your iniquity to restore your fortunes, but they have seen for you oracles that are false and misleading.”

We are in dire straits! For real! And God doesn’t sugar coat it; exposing the misdeeds is truly how we can be restored, as the verse says.
But who can heal us?

Isaiah 50:2 “ Is my arm too short to ransom you? Do I lack the strength to save you? By a mere rebuke I dry up the sea…”
He dries up the wha? The sea???? He can dry up places as big as our sin?

Micah 7:18-19 “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.”

Where? The sea? And we can fill it with our iniquities. We’re that good at being bad. BUT…He not only removes our iniquities – He can dry them up. He can get rid of them!

And in place of sin….

Habakkuk 2:14 “For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea.”

Someday, hopefully soon - there won’t even be any more traces of sin, even in tears down our cheeks – because instead of that gaping chasm of sin, we will be able to only see the glory of the Lord.

Hooray!

Come, Lord Jesus.

And until then – may we all strive to keep spending time in the Word, savoring the moments we are given, which when viewed with a thankful heart are truly, truly RICH in blessings.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

I am His & He is Mine

Whew! It has been awhile! Lots of learning has happened in the past couple of months - including more learning to lean on the Everlasting Arms :). Honestly, there have been so many times when I have just been at a loss in my teaching or coaching, etc. But, God is always faithful. The plant metaphor still holds true - for if I don't have the Lord to lean on, there is no way I can continue to grow. If I don't cling, I won't climb (just like a vine in a garden).
We are getting quite close to the holiday of hearts - Valentine's Day. The Lord has been reminding my heart this evening that TRUE LOVE is found only in Him. All others are a pale reflection. The following hymn is one of my favorites:

Loved with everlasting love, led by grace that love to know;
Gracious Spirit from above, Thou hast taught me it is so!
O this full and perfect peace! O this transport all divine!
In a love which cannot cease, I am His, and He is mine.
In a love which cannot cease, I am His, and He is mine.

Heav’n above is softer blue, Earth around is sweeter green!
Something lives in every hue Christless eyes have never seen
;
Birds with gladder songs o’erflow, flowers with deeper beauties shine,
Since I know, as now I know, I am His, and He is mine.
Since I know, as now I know, I am His, and He is mine.

Things that once were wild alarms cannot now disturb my rest;
Closed in everlasting arms, pillowed on the loving breast.
O to lie forever here, doubt and care and self resign,
While He whispers in my ear, I am His, and He is mine.
While He whispers in my ear, I am His, and He is mine.

His forever, only His; Who the Lord and me shall part?
Ah, with what a rest of bliss Christ can fill the loving heart!
Heav’n and earth may fade and flee, firstborn light in gloom decline;
But while God and I shall be, I am His, and He is mine.
But while God and I shall be, I am His, and He is mine

George Wade Robinson penned these words long ago - but oh, how I love them. Because - oh, how they remind me just how much God loves me! What a blessing - to be loved by the Lord.
"Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you..." Isaiah 43:4

May we not miss the joy of THAT love.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

How Amazing

I keep trying to take advantage of the beautiful outdoors. How much we miss by sitting inside day after day and staring at computer screens! :) (haha, like I'm doing right now!) Sunday I ate my lunch sitting on the side of the Blue Ridge Parkway, taking in the beginning of fall with the yellows and reds of the colored leaves. Last night I stopped at a nearby field and got out and looked at the stars. How beautiful the night sky is, especially when there is no smog or lights to block the view!

But what kept popping in my mind was this song.

I heard this song for the first time when I lived and worked at BFA in Germany. We sang it in church, and then I loved it so much I ended up buying the CD by Danny Plett.
I tend to play this song when I need to be reminded how big and amazing my God is. Because, truly, I stand in amazement at the beauty surrounding me on earth - trees and stars, etc....but should I not be more amazed of my God? And when I realize how big He is, and how small I am....do I even trust my own words to speak to Him?


How amazing You are in Your beauty.
How awesome Your blinding light.
Do I dare trust my words to praise You?
Do I dare trust my voice to sing?

How amazing You are in Your mercy.
That You still love someone like me.
Do I dare trust my words to praise You?
Do I dare trust my voice to sing?

Holy Father,
Precious Brother,
Gentle Comforter.
Oh, Holy One,
Most Holy One.

How amazing You are in Your healing.
Through my tears I now see Your face.
Do I dare trust my words to praise You?
Do I dare trust my voice to sing?



But isn't it good to know that He is just waiting for us to talk to Him and sing to Him...no matter how feeble our praise or our words...because He loves us that much. Hooray!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

God's Preferred Music

"Musicians love to sound their trumpets where there is the best echo, and God loves to bestow His mercies where there is the best echo of thankfulness." ~ Thomas Watson

Oh, to be truly and utterly thankful. For everything. That is my wish. :)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

King Jotham

Isn’t it interesting to read through I & II Kings and I & II Chronicles in the Bible? It is one of the few places where in just a sentence or two, you can see what God thought of someone’s life. We read about those who “did evil in the eyes of the LORD” and those who “did right in the eyes of the LORD”. Sometimes these kings did well for a time, but they did not follow God “wholeheartedly”.

As I was doing my homework for a Bible study I’m involved in, I was directed to the life of Jotham. He is described in II Chronicles 27 and II Kings 15:32-38.

II Kings describes Jotham in this way:

“He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just as his father Uzziah had done. The high places, however, were not removed; the people continued to offer sacrifices and burn incense there…” (II Kings 15:34-35)

II Chronicles speaks of Jotham as well:

“Jotham was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem 16 years…He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just as his father Uzziah had done, but unlike him he did not enter the temple of the LORD. The people, however, continued their corrupt practices. Jotham rebuilt the Upper Gate of the temple of the LORD and did extensive work on the wall at the hill of Ophel. He built towns in the Judean hills and forts and towers in the wooded areas.” (II Chronicles 27:1-4)

Now, maybe I’m intrigued with Jotham because I’m also 25 years old. Or maybe that’s just one more reason he’s standing out to me right now. At 25 years old, Jotham was given one of the greatest responsibilities in the kingdom of Judah. He was to rule over the people and direct them. Now, obviously, the people ultimately made their own choices, but leaders have such influence. Leaders can both point out the good and do their best to stop the wrong.

So, at first glance, Jotham did a good job! He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just like his dad. But something was missing. He did not remove the high places. Those were places that had been set up to worship other gods. False gods, in fact. And Jotham did not stop his people from worshiping that which was false. He did not stop the wrong.

A little further on in this passage, we find this verse:

II Chronicles 27:6 “Jotham grew powerful because he walked steadfastly before the LORD his God.”

Jotham was walking steadfastly before the LORD. That’s awesome! God blessed the works of his hands and allowed him to grow powerful.
But know what most sticks out to me? He walked BEFORE the Lord.
We can see from the previous descriptions of his life that Jotham knew the right things to do. He did them. But maybe he didn’t go above and beyond the simple “rules of right living” to get to know the “Ruler of right living”.

What would Jotham’s life have looked life if he had walked WITH the Lord?
Would he have removed the high places and stopped those who were giving glory to someone else?

Before and With are two very different words. Maybe I’m majoring on minors here, but this seems like such an important concept.

If I walk before the Lord, I am doing right things and am, in a sense, performing to please God. He’s watching me. But it’d be hard not to assume that God is like “big brother” in this way.

If I walk with the Lord, I am also striving to do right things. I am also trying to please God. But the purpose would not be to satisfy a “big brother” who is watching me. It would be to please a God who I intimately know.

Galatians 5 speaks of the “fruit of the Spirit” – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness & self-control. A bit later on it says this:
“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” (Galatians 5:25)

God wants us to know Him intimately. He wants us to not just live before Him, but to live our lives WITH Him. And when we are with Him, we know what is on His heart and what things he might desire us to do – like tearing down the high places – besides just keeping His rules.

At the end of my life, I would like to be described with a sentence like King Jotham’s. I would like God to say that I did right in His eyes. I would love to walk steadfastly. But even more than that – I would like Him to say that I walked with Him.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Flint-knapping

“…But I will make you as unyielding and hardened as they are. I will make your forehead like the hardest stone, harder than flint…” Ezekiel 3:9

“Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.” Isaiah 50:7

Flint. In the past two days I have read two Bible verses about being used by the Lord and about flint. What in the world is flint? And why did I read about it so much?

So, I took the liberty of looking it up.

Flint is a rock used to make arrowheads, knives and other tools. Its strength comes from its hardness, but also from the ability it has to be shaped by skilled workmen. In fact, the term “flint knapping” is used to describe the process of heating up flint so that it is more workable and fractures or splits on more “natural” lines. The controlled use of fire on flint not only improves its “flaking quality” but also can change its color and luster and make it more magnetic.
And I would be remiss not to mention the fact that flint was also used to ignite gunpowder in firearms up until the early 19th century. However, it is not adept at making fires on its own. One needs to hit pyrite (FeS2) with flint in order to make it spark well.

Why am I writing all this down? Because I think that there is a beautiful picture here.

In college, there was a group of us who called ourselves “the Toolbox”. We coined that phrase because we were hoping to all be tools fit to be used by our Master. I think we all knew that in order to make a good tool, sometimes you have to be pretty hard on the original material.

Flint is hard. And that’s a good quality. But it might be hard and the wrong shape for a good arrowhead or knife. A master craftsman would need to shape it for better use – and, it is best shaped when it goes through the fire. After it’s been through the fire, parts of it are chipped away to fashion it into what is desired. Then, it is most effective.

Isn’t that like our lives? God gives us qualities, dreams, ambitions, attitudes or talents that need to go through the fire. We sometimes are stripped away from what we lean on, humbled when our best isn’t good enough – but ultimately the effect of fire is to change us – improve our “flaking quality”, change our “color and luster”, even our “magnetism” – so that we are better tools in the hands of God. After the fire, He can freely chip away at our imperfections. He can make us exactly the people He wants us to be – so that He can then use our gifts and talents most effectively in a world that is in a constant battle.

AND – speaking of battles reminds me of firearms! Which reminds me that a good piece of flint is also excellent at making sparks and setting things on fire. And the hope is that someday, God might use us to help start a fire. How wonderful it would be to live in such a way that our lives produce sparks that help set others aflame for the gospel of Jesus Christ!

And when we give our lives to Him – I do believe He plans on doing just that. We just have to be willing to go through the fire and the chipping and the struggles. Then we will be more useful.

I had to laugh as I read about flint today. I thought of the different “fires” I’ve been through, the dreams that were snuffed out, the humiliations...and realized how many of those things have shaped who I am today. And it made me grateful for each of those – because it made it easier for God to chip away my “flakes”. I wonder what my next fire might be? What else needs to be chipped?

I'm glad my God loves me too much to let me stay where I am. I’m going to trust myself in the hands of my Master Craftsman.

So thankful He knows what’s best!