Sunday, January 29, 2012

I am but a dog.

This past week I had the privilege of giving my testimony at the high school where I teach. We have convocation almost every morning – it’s about 10 minutes of announcements and a little devotional, and then we are off to conquer the day. Ten minutes is not very much time…and since I knew that I wouldn’t be able to tell my life story in that amount of time, I tried to think of what I could focus on. Now, I know that just like a witness giving a testimony in court, the point of the witness’s testimony is not to make much of the one speaking…but to make much of the one being spoken about.

So my goal was to make much of Jesus. :)

Truly, my testimony is that GOD IS GOOD. And He saved me…not because of anything I have done.

In order to help explain that simple testimony, I tried to use experiences from my life to show how amazing He is…and it all ended up revolving around one of the most important lessons God has taught me throughout my life:

I am but a dog.

Haha. I know what you’re thinking…. “What?!?!?” But please bear with me as I share a little of what God has done in my life.

In ancient cultures, dogs were not the adored animal that they are in America today. We see Bible references to them licking up blood in the streets (specifically Ahab’s & Jezebel’s in I Kings). We see Mephibosheth, grandson of Saul, telling David, “What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?” (2 Samuel 9:8)

Being like a dog was being worth next to nothing. And I believe that the story of my life revolves around God reminding me that I am nothing, and He is everything. (Romans 4:17, I Corinthians 1:28)

When I was born, my wonderful parents gave me the name Alexis. They could have given me a much longer Greek name, after my grandmother, but they decided to make spelling my name in first grade a much easier task. However, even before I was born they discussed the possibilities of nicknames. And my dad firmly decided that there was no way my nickname could be “Alex”. And here was his reasoning: if I was as ugly as a dog, no one would be able to tell if I was a boy or girl. And since then, I have been known as “Lexi”. :)

Haha. It’s a true story! And don’t worry – my dad doesn’t think I look like a dog. :) (And he’s the best earthly dad I could ever ask for…it’s always fun to have a jokester around). But as you can see, from an early start…being like a dog was something I was not supposed to be.

Both of my parents came to know Jesus Christ as their Savior soon after I was born, and I consider it one of the greatest blessings of my life that they were “saved” at the same time. I grew up going to church and Christian schools all throughout my life, but never felt like Christianity was forced down my throat. Because of my interactions with the people who believed in Jesus and their testimonies, I, too, accepted Jesus as my Savior.

I remember when I was five years old, and my mother sat me down at the kitchen table and explained to me what it meant for Jesus Christ to die on the cross. She told me that I had done wrong things and that Jesus took my punishment for those things. (I think this made sense to me because of my vast life experience at this age…which included pepper. Whenever we talked back or lied to our parents, my brother & I would get black pepper in our mouths instead of soap. One time, Stephen, my big brother, took the pepper instead of me – and that has always be such a good picture to me of someone taking my punishment when they didn’t have to. Isn’t my brother a great guy?) I remember crying and feeling so sorry that Jesus had to take the punishment for me – and I thanked him right there and asked if he would come be a part of my life.

Granted, when you are five, you don’t have the deepest grasp of what being a Christian means. However, God does ask for childlike faith – and becoming a Christian is so much more simple than we make it! Yet, at the wise age of eleven, I started to wonder if I really meant what I had said 6 years before. So, I went through a period of about a week of every night asking Jesus to save me from the punishment I deserved and telling him I wanted to follow him. My mom caught on and asked me what I was doing…and then told me that confessing my sins and asking Jesus to be Lord of my life (Romans 10:9) was a once and done deal. Now I just needed to follow him as a way of showing my thankfulness. And a weight was lifted!

From that point on, I have been following the Lord, and walking with him. I have never gone through any outward rebellious stages (though my heart is not always focused where it should be), but I have been constantly reminded in my life how much more I need to strive after him. I have realized so many times how I am not as close to Him as I should be…and how much more I need to learn.

There has been one main reason for that lack of closeness: PRIDE.

I grew up, as I mentioned before, in Christian schooling. Yet, I valued many things that the world told me to value: awards & achievements in athletics, academics, popularity, etc. I was pretty confident in myself. And God, in His grace, has kept reminding me that I am nothing and He is everything.


Let me give you 3 examples:
1. The summer before my freshman year of high school, I hit my head on concrete while jumping into a pool. I was paralyzed while underwater and really thought it was the end. (Mostly because the game I had jumped into the water for involved holding your breath at the bottom of the pool. Ha.) Yet, miraculously I was suddenly at the surface of the water…able to move again. I had remnants of that injury for months afterwards. It turns out my head wasn’t on straight anymore – I had knocked some vertebrae out of place. But oh – what a reminder that our physical bodies are so fragile! I could lose function at any time. Athletic achievements were not something to place my worth or value in.
2. My high school took us on retreats every year. My sophomore year we went to a camp where a speaker came and told us a story highlighting what it means to really be a Christian. He described four different types of soldiers as examples for Christians, and then during the last time he spoke, asked if anyone could stand up and truly say they were a Level 4 Christian – one who would go anywhere and do anything for their commanding officer. And I started crying. And I stayed in my seat. Because I knew that at that time in my life, I was not a Level 4 soldier. And it broke my heart.
3. The summer after my sophomore year of college, I heard some devastating news. My friend, Lauren C., had died while hiking in NY State. Going to the funeral and seeing the body of someone who had once been so vibrant and full of life here made me realize how quickly life can be over. Am I spending my time on things that matter? What would be the testimony of my life after I was gone? Would my life reveal how much I thought about Jesus and loved Him? Or would it show that I was more concerned about my achievements than about loving Him?


The world had been telling me I was successful and doing okay. But God had been reminding me that it is the eternal things that are worth seeking after. The physical, temporal things that we seek after are not what measure our worth.

My worth comes from the fact that the God of the Universe loved me enough to give his Son to take my punishment. There’s nothing I can do to recommend me to God. Only through the precious blood of Jesus could I even hope to bring a smile to His face.

Since graduating from Grove City College, I have moved to Germany, then to Florida, and now reside in North Carolina. And every time I move, I leave a place where I feel like a “somebody”, and start over again as an unknown “nobody”. And I am reminded that I am nothing each time…but I belong to a Somebody who enables me to do good.

During my time in Grove City, I read a book called A Godly Man’s Picture by Thomas Watson. And I will never be able to forget this one quote:

“So I may say of all the good and excellence in us, ‘It is borrowed’…The moon has no cause to be proud of her light when she borrows it from the sun.”

Anything good I do is of Him! I have no reason to boast except in God (Galatians 6:14), and every reason to bow before God in humility.

Isaiah 26:12 says, “Lord, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us.”

Pride needs to decrease. God needs to increase.

It’s not brain or brawn or eloquence that matters in the end. All those, in whatever measure I have them, are borrowed. The hymn writer, William Featherston, reminds us that “God lendest us breath”! I strive to please God by using the gifts he has given me…but truly I am nothing.

I am but a dog, loved by the King.

Wonder of wonders.

I ended my testimony at school by reading from one of my favorite passages in the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. This quote is from The Last Battle, and it is the words of a Calormene describing his interaction with Aslan, the lion.

“Then he breathed upon me and took away the trembling from my limbs and caused me to stand upon my feet. And after that, he said not much but that we should meet again, and I must go further up and further in. Then he turned about him in a storm and flurry of gold and was gone suddenly.
And since then, O Kings and Ladies, I have been wandering to find him and my happiness is so great that it even weakens me like a wound. And this is the marvel of marvels, that He called me Beloved, me who am but as a dog – “


Amen.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Water Metaphors

“Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name!
Sing like never before, O my soul!
I’ll worship Your holy name…”

Ah. Beautiful words. This is the chorus to a song called “10,000 Reasons” by Matt Redman. One of the verses says, “For all your goodness, I will keep on singing…10,000 reasons for my heart to find!”

Every week I find that if I truly sit back and think, I have more reasons to bless and thank the Lord. And this past week (past two, actually) is no exception. For the last two weeks, I have been helping to lead a class that covered Freshwater Ecology in North Carolina & Marine Biology in Florida. Days were chock full of field trips and meeting hydrogeologists, biology professors, wildlife educators, marine biologists, ministry leaders…and even some skim boarding and surfing instructors! We flipped over rocks in streams, tested dissolved oxygen in wells, snorkeled in seagrass and mangrove ecosystems, swam over coral reefs, saw sea turtles and dolphins and manatees! It was a wonderful two weeks. I hope the students learned a lot. I know I was reminded of so much, and as always, continued to learn more. Throughout the class we had 4 big ideas in our class that we kept coming back to:

1. Water is precious and essential for life.
2. Water greatly affects its surroundings (biotic & abiotic).
3. Stewardship of the world includes stewardship of water. (Our actions affect our resources)
4. Water provides many metaphors for spiritual/life lessons.

I could describe in detail everything that we did and learned, but I want to focus on #4. Metaphors. I gave the first devotional, and in order to prepare for it, yet again found myself going back through my journals, searching for ways God had used water as a metaphor to teach a lesson in my life. It wasn’t long before I had a page filled with notes.

a. Lake – A few years back I read a book by Stasi Eldredge called Captivating. Although I don’t agree with everything she says, I have always been affected by her description of a lake in that book. Lakes can truly reflect the beauty around them only when they are still. Likewise, we best reflect the glories of God to others when we are still, calm, and trusting in the Lord. The word “joy” in Greek is chara – literally meaning “calm delight”. True joy results in calmness and delight in the Lord…and a better reflection of Him to others! (Verses: Matthew 8:27, Psalm 23:2, Proverbs 27:19) On my trip, one morning I woke up and was struck by the beauty of the sun on the water. Not only was the sunrise beautiful, but the water was so still – it was like there were two sunrises! One was more beautiful (the real sun), but the other also brightened my day. How much like a reflective Christian! How I also wish to let Christ shine through me so I can help brighten others’ days.
b. Ocean – Someday, the “earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord as the water covers the sea” (Isaiah 11:9, Habbakuk 2:14). Crazy! This past week we reviewed that our earth is covered by at least 70% water. Oh – how much water that is! And how much more I need to learn about the Lord! It would be one thing if the ocean was only what we see at the surface. It’s also DEEP. As is God! “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!” (Romans 11:33) Definitely something worth diving into!
c. River – In college, I listened to a speaker who once compared people to rivers and floods. Rivers are purposeful; rivers focus their energies to flow one direction. Floods, however, almost always cause destruction because their energies are not focused. Both can be powerful – but in life, we should be rivers, not floods. In this class, we learned about the destructive powers of floods as we reviewed the history of our valley in NC…the excessive damage was partially humans’ faults because of the number of “impervious” or impenetrable surfaces that cause more extreme flooding. But we also saw the amount of life living in mountain streams if you just take the time to turn over rocks!
d. Fountain“As they make music they will sing, ‘All my fountains are in you’” (Psalm 87:7). “For out of the overflow of his heart, his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). Fountains are deep – and can be the source of with clean, refreshing water…but they can be contaminated. What is the state of my heart? Is it focused on the Lord? Because wherever my heart dwells, that will spring up out of me…eventually in thoughts, words and actions. These past weeks we saw that fresh water can sustain more abundant and diverse life…contaminated water limits life.
e. Cisterns – “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water” (Jeremiah 2:13). People are concerned about having enough water…they build reservoirs to keep it protected, and try as much as they can to keep them from contamination. But contaminants can come with leaks and cracks. And water can be lost with leaks and cracks. As with the last metaphor – God should be our fountain and source…but once we receive his grace and love and wisdom…are we losing it because we are trying to do things and hold onto things on our own? Are we being affected by “contaminants” that we should not let into our lives? We not only need God as our Source, but also as the one who holds us together.
f. Rain – Rain storms. We had a day where we quickly returned to shore from the ocean, due to some stormy weather. Storms are powerful! It was intriguing how the storm stirred up the silt and sediment on the bottom of the water and made the waters in the mangrove bays murky and brown. Storms in life can stir up some things we thought we had hidden underneath the surface, eh? Yet, however dirty we are – we can be clean. And we can be confident at His consistency…like the sun always rises, God will always be there. (“Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear; He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth” (Hosea 6:3)).
g. Icebergs – For every 10% of an iceberg we see above the surface of the water, there is approximately 90% below the surface. A speaker I heard once (Dr. Elmore) used this as a metaphor: the 10% above the water line is equivalent to our skills, and the 90% below is equivalent to our character. “It’s what’s below the water line that causes the ship to sink.”
h. Hot & Cold Water – “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth” (Revelation 3:15-16). Ugh. Who likes drinking lukewarm water? This verse was written to a church in Laodicea, one situated between two other cities known for their water. Hierapolis, approximately 7 miles away, was known for its hot, therapeutic waters. Colossae, about 12 miles from Laodicea, was known for its cold, refreshing waters. Laodicea had no water source of its own and by the time it transported water from one of these two cities, the time, coupled with minerals/metals from the piping systems, most likely made this water lukewarm and worthy of spitting out of anyone’s mouth. Hot and cold water were both good things – and this metaphorical use of water temperature was a reminder to not be lukewarm in another sense: in relationship to God. Be useful as hot water (therapeutic); be useful as cold water (refreshing). But don’t be useless. I found a quote in my journal from what I think was a “Despair Poster”. It goes like this: “Mediocrity: It takes a lot less time and most people won’t notice the difference until it’s too late.” Oooh. Being lukewarm takes a lot less time and energy. But it will be something we look back on and wish we had changed.

Jeepers. I hope those metaphors make sense. I’ve cut down my list a bit – but I’ve always been amazed at how God really can speak to our hearts through the things around us. I think metaphors can drive truths home that seem abstract when you first hear them. Some of my students came up with their own metaphors and devotionals on water:

a. Rivers have little eddies where water gets trapped and becomes stagnant. But just because some water gets stuck in an eddy doesn’t mean it has to stay there. It can get back out and rejoin the river.
b. Clean water could someday become like the new oil – something people fight over. But we are reminded in Mt 6 that we don’t have to worry about what we will eat or drink. God will provide…but we do need to be wise and take care of what he’s given us.
c. Water molecules are small, and seemingly insignificant on their own. But water molecules, because of their composition of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom (and polarity), will always be able to join with other water molecules. They can be stronger together than they would be apart. Just like water molecules, Christians need other Christians to encourage them in their walks. And we can affect others in a positive or negative way, just like pure or polluted water will have an effect on the water they join.
d. Mangrove trees can live in salt water, but have adapted to either be salt-excreters or salt-excluders to deal with the salt they find themselves in. As Christians, we should be in the world. We shouldn’t hide from it. But we are not to be of it, and we need to learn how to interact with the world around us.

Neat thoughts, eh?

I truly think that going outside and interacting with the world around us gives us more than 10,000 reasons for our hearts to sing. The world is designed so amazingly! And there are so many pictures of abstract truths if we just look. Water is only one aspect. May we never miss opportunities to bless and thank the Lord…and learn more about Him through His beautiful creation!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jYLTn4fKYQ

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Silence

January 1, 2012. Crazy, eh? It seems like I just started another school year, and here I am, already mid-way. Because of the significance of last night being New Year’s Eve, I found myself sitting back on the couch last night, reflecting. What was good about 2011? What things should I change?



As I flipped through my journal entries of the past few months, I was yet again amazed at how often God teaches me the same lessons. I just don’t seem to get it on the first go-round! I have been so busy as of late (teaching, coaching, taking classes) that I have not really had time to sit and process all that has happened. And as I read, I was struck with a few themes of 2011.



What made these themes stick out even more was the fact that just before reading my journals, I watched the movie Contact. It was actually quite well done, and will help to provide lots of conversation starters in my upcoming Film & Worldview class. I’ve never watched a movie that slowly before (except for Planet Earth :))…I kept pausing it and taking notes.


There are many themes to discuss within this movie – faith & science, the pros and cons of technology, how to determine truth, etc. But what stuck out to me last night was how the movie makers employed two ideas that carried through the entire movie: Silence & Loneliness.
And those were the same two themes (among others) that kept popping up in my journals.



CONTACT



Many movies have soundtracks that enhance the film’s action as we watch. Loud music during fight scenes, the “uh-oh” music (technical term there) when you know the bad guy is about to come on the scene, the inspirational music that plays while beautiful panoramic shots cover the screen….



In Contact, however, there was (comparatively) a lot of silence.
And that fits…because silence often means that you are alone.



Within the first three minutes, we are given a powerful dramatization of how small we are compared to the universe. We later find out that Doctor Ellie Arroway, played by Jodie Foster, has been alone since the age of 9. Later in life, as a scientist, she is so focused on discovering intelligent extra-terrestrial life that she alienates many around her. (Haha. I’m a little proud of the irony of that last sentence.) And when she finally makes contact with alien life, the theme comes up again. The extra-terrestrials tell her:
Your species is “capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone. Only you’re not.”
When Ellie returns, she testifies to others that she saw a vision of the universe:
“…that tells us undeniably how tiny and insignificant…and rare and precious we all are. A vision that tells us we belong to something that is greater than ourselves. That we are not…that none of us…are alone.”
And as the movie closes, we see Ellie, sitting on the edge of a canyon, contemplating life, remembering her encounter with the extraterrestrials…yet still very much alone.



Oh – there are so many things that we could discuss about this movie: the fact that if we truly believe this world/universe is all there is (materialism), it is quite a sad and lonely place no matter how many people we share it with. There’s just…death. Where does meaning come from? And the fact that the intelligent people in the movie assume that the life from outer space is more intelligent than we are, yet it’s a stretch for many to believe that there may be a God is more intelligent than them. The movie seems to portray people who believe in God as people committing intellectual suicide and not following where the empirical evidence leads…but in reality, all empirical evidence leads to a point where one must accept things by faith…the question then is, which is most reasonable to place our faith in? Then there’s the fact that Jodie Foster plays a moral scientist who doesn’t believe in God and therefore gives up a basis for morality.



But I digress.



Because what I really want to write about are the themes of Silence and Loneliness as they relate to the Bible and my life over the past year.



Does silence really mean that we are alone?



MY JOURNALS



This past year, my life has been full of “noise”. I’ve been running to and fro, joining and doing this and that. I’ve been told that I need to learn the art of saying “NO”. But, it’s a hard thing to learn. :)



As I read through my journals, I kept seeing the theme of silence & quiet popping up. Back at Easter of this year, I wrote in my journal about a Tenebrae service I attended. And what stuck out to me about it was the silence. I wrote: “I really like it, actually. And yet, there are times when it can be deafening.”



Why would silence be hard to handle?


Stillness. Quietness. Silence. Those aren’t things our culture looks fondly upon. Silence causes us to think, and we would much rather be distracted.


And yet we see Jesus – a man who we as Christians are supposed to emulate – going out on mountainsides to pray, spending the night praying to God (Luke 6:12). I try to pray for more than 15 minutes and find I struggle with the silence and with getting distracted. But is silence in prayer a bad thing?



Check out this verse:
“Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10 – NIV)



Back in September, I wrote about how it seems like it would be hard to spend the whole night in prayer. Yet, it’s not hard to talk to someone you love for hours upon end. AND, it’s also okay to sit in silence with someone you know well. (Like driving in a car…with someone you don’t know…the silence is incredibly awkward. With someone you do…it can be quite peaceful). That made me think: Is being still and knowing that God is God only truly possible when I spend a large amount of time with God? Because only in the most familiar places is silence comfortable.



Silence doesn’t mean God is not there.



“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16



It may seem lonely to others. We may feel alone in silence. But we can know that GOD IS THERE.
We may feel alone in life. We may wish we lived closer to our families; we may wish for people to share our lives with…but the silence may be the best thing for us. Because in the silence, we are forced to spend time with the Lord….and we are able to listen for His answers to our questions and prayers.



That is, of course, if we don’t fill it up with 1001 things to do. If we don’t turn on the music to drown out our thoughts like we often do while driving….



Because after I sat down last night in the silence and read and prayed, I was reminded that this verse is true no matter what circumstances I find myself in:



“Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.” (Psalm 116:7)



He is GOOD!



If we take that word “rest” and cross-reference it, it will lead us to another beautiful verse:



“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him.” (Psalms 62:1 – NIV)
In the King James version of that verse rest is translated as “waiteth”. The Hebrew word is: dumiyah, which is can be translated “stillness, silently, quiet trust”.



And I chuckle.



Because hasn’t God reminded me already this year about waiting? (see previous blog entry from…gasp…over 4 months ago). We are to be fragrance for Him in this world, and to smell strongly, incense needs to be crushed, it needs to sit & wait, and it needs to burn.



I think I need to work on the waiting aspect of life. And in order to do that well, I need to spend time with my Jesus – away from the common distractions of life. I need to carve out time to be still, and know that He is God. That’s my goal of 2012. That’s what needs to change in my life.



Being still and silent does allow us to reflect on how small and insignificant we are. We can feel that way in comparison to an almighty God or even a vast universe, as Dr. Ellie Arroway noted in Contact.



But we will never be able to truly feel rare and precious until we realize that we are loved by that Almighty God. We are not alone. And we celebrate every Christmas the birth of the Jesus Christ who came to make sure that our eternity can be spent in the presence of the One who knows us best and loves even so.



With hope like that…it’s no wonder that we can be still.



Sometimes…silence is good for the soul.