This past week I had the privilege of giving my testimony at the high school where I teach. We have convocation almost every morning – it’s about 10 minutes of announcements and a little devotional, and then we are off to conquer the day. Ten minutes is not very much time…and since I knew that I wouldn’t be able to tell my life story in that amount of time, I tried to think of what I could focus on. Now, I know that just like a witness giving a testimony in court, the point of the witness’s testimony is not to make much of the one speaking…but to make much of the one being spoken about.
So my goal was to make much of Jesus. :)
Truly, my testimony is that GOD IS GOOD. And He saved me…not because of anything I have done.
In order to help explain that simple testimony, I tried to use experiences from my life to show how amazing He is…and it all ended up revolving around one of the most important lessons God has taught me throughout my life:
I am but a dog.
Haha. I know what you’re thinking…. “What?!?!?” But please bear with me as I share a little of what God has done in my life.
In ancient cultures, dogs were not the adored animal that they are in America today. We see Bible references to them licking up blood in the streets (specifically Ahab’s & Jezebel’s in I Kings). We see Mephibosheth, grandson of Saul, telling David, “What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?” (2 Samuel 9:8)
Being like a dog was being worth next to nothing. And I believe that the story of my life revolves around God reminding me that I am nothing, and He is everything. (Romans 4:17, I Corinthians 1:28)
When I was born, my wonderful parents gave me the name Alexis. They could have given me a much longer Greek name, after my grandmother, but they decided to make spelling my name in first grade a much easier task. However, even before I was born they discussed the possibilities of nicknames. And my dad firmly decided that there was no way my nickname could be “Alex”. And here was his reasoning: if I was as ugly as a dog, no one would be able to tell if I was a boy or girl. And since then, I have been known as “Lexi”. :)
Haha. It’s a true story! And don’t worry – my dad doesn’t think I look like a dog. :) (And he’s the best earthly dad I could ever ask for…it’s always fun to have a jokester around). But as you can see, from an early start…being like a dog was something I was not supposed to be.
Both of my parents came to know Jesus Christ as their Savior soon after I was born, and I consider it one of the greatest blessings of my life that they were “saved” at the same time. I grew up going to church and Christian schools all throughout my life, but never felt like Christianity was forced down my throat. Because of my interactions with the people who believed in Jesus and their testimonies, I, too, accepted Jesus as my Savior.
I remember when I was five years old, and my mother sat me down at the kitchen table and explained to me what it meant for Jesus Christ to die on the cross. She told me that I had done wrong things and that Jesus took my punishment for those things. (I think this made sense to me because of my vast life experience at this age…which included pepper. Whenever we talked back or lied to our parents, my brother & I would get black pepper in our mouths instead of soap. One time, Stephen, my big brother, took the pepper instead of me – and that has always be such a good picture to me of someone taking my punishment when they didn’t have to. Isn’t my brother a great guy?) I remember crying and feeling so sorry that Jesus had to take the punishment for me – and I thanked him right there and asked if he would come be a part of my life.
Granted, when you are five, you don’t have the deepest grasp of what being a Christian means. However, God does ask for childlike faith – and becoming a Christian is so much more simple than we make it! Yet, at the wise age of eleven, I started to wonder if I really meant what I had said 6 years before. So, I went through a period of about a week of every night asking Jesus to save me from the punishment I deserved and telling him I wanted to follow him. My mom caught on and asked me what I was doing…and then told me that confessing my sins and asking Jesus to be Lord of my life (Romans 10:9) was a once and done deal. Now I just needed to follow him as a way of showing my thankfulness. And a weight was lifted!
From that point on, I have been following the Lord, and walking with him. I have never gone through any outward rebellious stages (though my heart is not always focused where it should be), but I have been constantly reminded in my life how much more I need to strive after him. I have realized so many times how I am not as close to Him as I should be…and how much more I need to learn.
There has been one main reason for that lack of closeness: PRIDE.
I grew up, as I mentioned before, in Christian schooling. Yet, I valued many things that the world told me to value: awards & achievements in athletics, academics, popularity, etc. I was pretty confident in myself. And God, in His grace, has kept reminding me that I am nothing and He is everything.
Let me give you 3 examples:
1. The summer before my freshman year of high school, I hit my head on concrete while jumping into a pool. I was paralyzed while underwater and really thought it was the end. (Mostly because the game I had jumped into the water for involved holding your breath at the bottom of the pool. Ha.) Yet, miraculously I was suddenly at the surface of the water…able to move again. I had remnants of that injury for months afterwards. It turns out my head wasn’t on straight anymore – I had knocked some vertebrae out of place. But oh – what a reminder that our physical bodies are so fragile! I could lose function at any time. Athletic achievements were not something to place my worth or value in.
2. My high school took us on retreats every year. My sophomore year we went to a camp where a speaker came and told us a story highlighting what it means to really be a Christian. He described four different types of soldiers as examples for Christians, and then during the last time he spoke, asked if anyone could stand up and truly say they were a Level 4 Christian – one who would go anywhere and do anything for their commanding officer. And I started crying. And I stayed in my seat. Because I knew that at that time in my life, I was not a Level 4 soldier. And it broke my heart.
3. The summer after my sophomore year of college, I heard some devastating news. My friend, Lauren C., had died while hiking in NY State. Going to the funeral and seeing the body of someone who had once been so vibrant and full of life here made me realize how quickly life can be over. Am I spending my time on things that matter? What would be the testimony of my life after I was gone? Would my life reveal how much I thought about Jesus and loved Him? Or would it show that I was more concerned about my achievements than about loving Him?
The world had been telling me I was successful and doing okay. But God had been reminding me that it is the eternal things that are worth seeking after. The physical, temporal things that we seek after are not what measure our worth.
My worth comes from the fact that the God of the Universe loved me enough to give his Son to take my punishment. There’s nothing I can do to recommend me to God. Only through the precious blood of Jesus could I even hope to bring a smile to His face.
Since graduating from Grove City College, I have moved to Germany, then to Florida, and now reside in North Carolina. And every time I move, I leave a place where I feel like a “somebody”, and start over again as an unknown “nobody”. And I am reminded that I am nothing each time…but I belong to a Somebody who enables me to do good.
During my time in Grove City, I read a book called A Godly Man’s Picture by Thomas Watson. And I will never be able to forget this one quote:
“So I may say of all the good and excellence in us, ‘It is borrowed’…The moon has no cause to be proud of her light when she borrows it from the sun.”
Anything good I do is of Him! I have no reason to boast except in God (Galatians 6:14), and every reason to bow before God in humility.
Isaiah 26:12 says, “Lord, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us.”
Pride needs to decrease. God needs to increase.
It’s not brain or brawn or eloquence that matters in the end. All those, in whatever measure I have them, are borrowed. The hymn writer, William Featherston, reminds us that “God lendest us breath”! I strive to please God by using the gifts he has given me…but truly I am nothing.
I am but a dog, loved by the King.
Wonder of wonders.
I ended my testimony at school by reading from one of my favorite passages in the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. This quote is from The Last Battle, and it is the words of a Calormene describing his interaction with Aslan, the lion.
“Then he breathed upon me and took away the trembling from my limbs and caused me to stand upon my feet. And after that, he said not much but that we should meet again, and I must go further up and further in. Then he turned about him in a storm and flurry of gold and was gone suddenly.
And since then, O Kings and Ladies, I have been wandering to find him and my happiness is so great that it even weakens me like a wound. And this is the marvel of marvels, that He called me Beloved, me who am but as a dog – “
Amen.
This was EXCELLENT, Kid!! :)
ReplyDelete