End of Year Focus

Well, I have approximately one week of teaching left in the school year…and then the giving of final exams.  Is that not craziness????  This year has flown.  (I should have written this in my hawks and sparrows post…because they fly…hehe…)

How do I even begin to summarize the past three weeks?  I’ve finished my last weekend class for my Master’s program (WOOT!), taught and helped my students with worm, seastar & crayfish dissections, watched silly videos both made by my students (Reptiles) and by college students (Harvard Baseball Team) , played some really fun & exciting Frisbee games, read Rainbow Valley and Rilla of Ingleside by L. M. Montgomery…

But I also realized that I have done a terrible job with spending quality time with Jesus.  I was so excited to not have to read books for my Master’s classes anymore that I went crazy and finished up the Anne of Green Gables series in a ridiculously short amount of time.  I’ve been trying to spend time catching up with friends I’ve neglected due to my busy-ness.  So, I wake up in the morning exhausted and hold my phone (my alarm), hitting the snooze at least 4 times each morning. 
And it’s not that any of those things are inherently wrong to do…they just have filled my time and pushed Jesus out of my vision. 

Yet even with my lack of attention to Him, Jesus has patiently showed me amazing lessons while I have been distracted.

This past week, I struggled with feeling like I was a horrible teacher – that I was too busy this year to spend quality time with my students because I was in “survival mode” with teaching, master’s work and coaching.  I wanted to be an encouragement to them and my family and friends, but this year was just so FULL.  And you know what?  I started to get frustrated with myself; I started to get frustrated with my students.  I was just plain frustrated.  And then I read this:

“God has put people around you who need your ministry to them.  You will never be able to properly help them, however, unless your primary focus is God.  If you concentrate on people, their weaknesses, their disobedience, their lack of faith, and their stubbornness will quickly frustrate you.  If, however, your eyes are focused on holy God, you will become more like Him – gracious, forgiving, long-suffering, and righteous.” 

~ Blackaby, (May 11) – Experiencing God Day-by-Day Devotional

Isn’t life all about focus?  And isn’t it true that the more time I spend staring at something, the more like it I will be? 

So what do I stare at? 

Books?

Movies?

the Internet?

People who I think are successful?

People who I want to reach out to?

If I do not carve out specific time to gaze at Jesus, then it’s no wonder my focus is off. 

It’s no wonder that I let little things upset me…which are miniscule in the scheme of life. 

And it’s no wonder that I cannot do the thing I desire to do – to reach out to others and encourage them in Christ – because by focusing on people I become more like them than Jesus.

“One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple.”  Psalm 27:4

A while ago I heard this, and maybe I’ll give it another go:  I wonder if I can make sure to spend more time looking at God’s word than looking in the mirror each morning.   (hopefully, even double or triple the amount).